Honripgess Kenlarnyimwad is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, benevolent walrus.

Honripgess Kenlarnyimwad created a top quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Honripgess Kenlarnyimwad, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Honripgess Kenlarnyimwad, she will be mildly annoyed.

Honripgess Kenlarnyimwad's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Honripgess Kenlarnyimwad's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Honripgess Kenlarnyimwad.

2. Never mention voles.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.