Figdadmab is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, omnipotent jackal.

Figdadmab created a quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Figdadmab, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Figdadmab, she will not care at all.

Figdadmab's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Figdadmab's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into turquoise rooms.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Run away from fawn gulls, for they are unholy.

5. Always help squirrels.