Fompopnell is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, benevolent hare.

Fompopnell created the planet Venus nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fompopnell, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fompopnell, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Fompopnell's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Fompopnell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. You must never eat melons.

5. Run away if five moths approach from the west.