Pidxucsinbog is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, unsympathetic squid.

Pidxucsinbog created the planet Earth eight million years ago.

If you believe in Pidxucsinbog, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pidxucsinbog, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Pidxucsinbog's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Pidxucsinbog's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat gooseberries.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.