Armpodrut is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, slow faun.

Armpodrut created silver two million years ago.

If you believe in Armpodrut, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Armpodrut, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Armpodrut's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Armpodrut's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from yellow great tits, for they are unholy.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Armpodrut.

4. Never bounce in the presence of monkeys.

5. Do not commit murder.