Bedcanlag is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, humane crab.

Bedcanlag created the planet Saturn three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bedcanlag, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bedcanlag, it will not care.

Bedcanlag's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Bedcanlag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bedcanlag.

3. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never think ill of sick hamsters.