Dobortvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, unsympathetic clam.

Dobortvonk created the cosmos two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobortvonk, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dobortvonk, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Dobortvonk's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Dobortvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Feed all hungry goats.