Flislogcum Standunsug is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, sage clam.

Flislogcum Standunsug created the planet Mars eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flislogcum Standunsug, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flislogcum Standunsug, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Flislogcum Standunsug's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Flislogcum Standunsug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never sing in the presence of porpoises.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.