Farnbidsiscem is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, amazing dingo.

Farnbidsiscem created matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Farnbidsiscem, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Farnbidsiscem, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Farnbidsiscem's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Farnbidsiscem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear red clothing.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Always help porpoises in need.

5. Do not sit in public.