Dubtiftig is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, clever parrot.

Dubtiftig created a quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Dubtiftig, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dubtiftig, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Dubtiftig's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Dubtiftig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not wear magenta clothing.

3. Always make sure there are no horses in a room before entering it.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Retreat if four sharks approach from the west.