Konjarnnurtjining Joplabfon is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, confident dingo.

Konjarnnurtjining Joplabfon created Mount Everest eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Konjarnnurtjining Joplabfon, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Konjarnnurtjining Joplabfon, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Konjarnnurtjining Joplabfon's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Konjarnnurtjining Joplabfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. You must love Konjarnnurtjining Joplabfon.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.