Femyarnurlfum is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, emotional squid.

Femyarnurlfum created vertebrates five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Femyarnurlfum, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Femyarnurlfum, it will turn you into a goat.

Femyarnurlfum's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Femyarnurlfum's Holy Commandments

1. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Do not kill moths.

5. Never think about stars.