Yarwanfonstigjad is a god.

He takes the form of a large, capable hare.

Yarwanfonstigjad created a Higgs boson eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarwanfonstigjad, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Yarwanfonstigjad, he will throw large rocks at you.

Yarwanfonstigjad's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Yarwanfonstigjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat garlic.

2. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never mention badgers.

5. Do not speak about carrots.