Ranvegyatkap is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, selfish fly.

Ranvegyatkap created an atom eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ranvegyatkap, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ranvegyatkap, she will turn you into a mole.

Ranvegyatkap's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Ranvegyatkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

5. Do not stand on grass.