Nakyamhap is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, sage gorilla.

Nakyamhap created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nakyamhap, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nakyamhap, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Nakyamhap's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Nakyamhap's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate doves.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not take Nakyamhap's name in vain.

5. Always obey Nakyamhap's priests.