Shavzakyok is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, two-faced tortoise.

Shavzakyok created carbon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Shavzakyok, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Shavzakyok, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Shavzakyok's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Shavzakyok's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Shavzakyok.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not covet oxen.