Tarstragtonk Nurpiddam is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, tranquil skunk.

Tarstragtonk Nurpiddam created a quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarstragtonk Nurpiddam, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tarstragtonk Nurpiddam, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tarstragtonk Nurpiddam's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Tarstragtonk Nurpiddam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat tomatoes.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.