Fobjambarn is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, overgenerous fox.

Fobjambarn created light three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fobjambarn, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fobjambarn, he will turn you into a hamster.

Fobjambarn's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Fobjambarn's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Fobjambarn.

2. Always help pigs in need.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Never eat rice.

5. You must pray to Fobjambarn four times a day.