Bintigfun is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, caring monkey.

Bintigfun created a down quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Bintigfun, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bintigfun, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bintigfun's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Bintigfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

3. Do not hurt capybaras.

4. Worship no other gods but Bintigfun.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.