Zenpankab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, humane salamander.

Zenpankab created a down quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Zenpankab, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Zenpankab, it will turn you into a frog.

Zenpankab's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Zenpankab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never look at comets.

3. Zenpankab must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always help dolphins in need.

5. Never eat cherries.