Jonkimnadbum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, thoughtless centaur.

Jonkimnadbum created the planet Jupiter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jonkimnadbum, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jonkimnadbum, it will torture you forever.

Jonkimnadbum's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Jonkimnadbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention birds.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never think ill of sick doves.