Ladsabhot Kindagkapbot is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, narcissistic monkey.

Ladsabhot Kindagkapbot created Mount Everest seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Ladsabhot Kindagkapbot, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ladsabhot Kindagkapbot, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Ladsabhot Kindagkapbot's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Ladsabhot Kindagkapbot's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not wear turquoise clothing.