Gutbabbog is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, benevolent seal.

Gutbabbog created viruses six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutbabbog, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gutbabbog, he will turn you into a tree.

Gutbabbog's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Gutbabbog's Holy Commandments

1. Gutbabbog loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never go into violet rooms.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gutbabbog.

5. Never play with disobedient children.