Watmonduss is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, self-assured dove.

Watmonduss created humanity five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Watmonduss, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Watmonduss, he will turn you into a hamster.

Watmonduss' most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Watmonduss' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

3. Worship no other gods but Watmonduss.

4. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Watmonduss on top of all buildings.

5. Never wear dresses.