Hotbepfas Bonkarmflig Flamwitgan is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, contented snail.

Hotbepfas Bonkarmflig Flamwitgan created dark energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotbepfas Bonkarmflig Flamwitgan, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Hotbepfas Bonkarmflig Flamwitgan, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Hotbepfas Bonkarmflig Flamwitgan's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Hotbepfas Bonkarmflig Flamwitgan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.