Sugcedbem Kap Mathenspag is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, omniscient swallow.

Sugcedbem Kap Mathenspag created viruses four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sugcedbem Kap Mathenspag, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Sugcedbem Kap Mathenspag, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Sugcedbem Kap Mathenspag's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Sugcedbem Kap Mathenspag's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never sit near voles.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Worship no other gods but Sugcedbem Kap Mathenspag.

5. Sugcedbem Kap Mathenspag loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.