Batcipsig is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, emotional otter.

Batcipsig created the universe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Batcipsig, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Batcipsig, it will torture you forever.

Batcipsig's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Batcipsig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick snails.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Never hurt bats.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never talk about fire.