Hognellvid is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, unsympathetic chicken.

Hognellvid created an up quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hognellvid, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hognellvid, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Hognellvid's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Hognellvid's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat lentils.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Never think about amino acids.