Gumfatdap is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, smart coyote.

Gumfatdap created snails nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumfatdap, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gumfatdap, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Gumfatdap's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Gumfatdap's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Always look after injured frogs.

5. Never eat green fruit.