Timcinwon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, weak dugong.

Timcinwon created the Sun two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timcinwon, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Timcinwon, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Timcinwon's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Timcinwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lentils to cats while wearing brown shirts.

2. Hide from orange foxes for they are unholy.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

5. Timcinwon loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.