Kabguprat is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, slow badger.

Kabguprat created the Large Magellanic Cloud five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabguprat, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kabguprat, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kabguprat's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Kabguprat's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from cyan mice for they are unholy.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kabguprat.