Vonkwigloopfebneg is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, fussy dugong.

Vonkwigloopfebneg created everything that exists nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkwigloopfebneg, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vonkwigloopfebneg, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Vonkwigloopfebneg's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Vonkwigloopfebneg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always help seals in need.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. You must love Vonkwigloopfebneg.