Faslarpsom is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, selfish dove.

Faslarpsom created the Large Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Faslarpsom, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Faslarpsom, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Faslarpsom's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Faslarpsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Faslarpsom loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.