Viljarnsaw is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, passionate mongoose.

Viljarnsaw created a top quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Viljarnsaw, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Viljarnsaw, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Viljarnsaw's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Viljarnsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always look after injured goats.

3. Worship no other gods but Viljarnsaw.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not covet oxen.