Loopbigrak is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-knowing dryad.

Loopbigrak created a strange quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopbigrak, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Loopbigrak, she will turn you into a snail.

Loopbigrak's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Loopbigrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Put Loopbigrak first in all things.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Never pour water over plants.