Fidfatxinhin is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, wise cobra.

Fidfatxinhin created the Sombrero Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fidfatxinhin, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fidfatxinhin, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Fidfatxinhin's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Fidfatxinhin's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three voles approach from the west.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Fidfatxinhin loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.