Cemnurldudmipkophun is a god.

He takes the form of a large, strong goat.

Cemnurldudmipkophun created the planet Jupiter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemnurldudmipkophun, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cemnurldudmipkophun, he will throw large rocks at you.

Cemnurldudmipkophun's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Cemnurldudmipkophun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Never eat peas.

3. Hide if seven mites approach from the east.

4. Put Cemnurldudmipkophun first in all things.

5. Never jump in the presence of swans.