Tontagfoss is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, compassionate hyena.

Tontagfoss created water nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tontagfoss, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tontagfoss, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tontagfoss' most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Tontagfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Run away from red horses, for they are unholy.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Always help sick gulls.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.