Rillgofmad Sugmutzan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unthinking swan.

Rillgofmad Sugmutzan created snails twelve years ago.

If you believe in Rillgofmad Sugmutzan, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rillgofmad Sugmutzan, he will not care at all.

Rillgofmad Sugmutzan's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Rillgofmad Sugmutzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.