Bemvigdogced is a god.

It takes the form of a large, uncaring elephant.

Bemvigdogced created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bemvigdogced, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bemvigdogced, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bemvigdogced's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Bemvigdogced's Holy Commandments

1. Bemvigdogced must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.