Jopwighim is a god.

It takes the form of a small, all-knowing elephant.

Jopwighim created humankind four years ago.

If you believe in Jopwighim, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jopwighim, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Jopwighim's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Jopwighim's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. You must love Jopwighim.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Erect five silicon sculptures of Jopwighim on top of important buildings.

5. Never look at nebulae.