Fadtenlegpak is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, caring otter.

Fadtenlegpak created the solar system three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fadtenlegpak, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fadtenlegpak, she will turn you into a mouse.

Fadtenlegpak's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Fadtenlegpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never go into gray rooms.

4. Always treat turtles with great respect.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.