Bifzimtaf is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, resourceful dryad.

Bifzimtaf created Europe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifzimtaf, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bifzimtaf, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Bifzimtaf's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Bifzimtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not kill moths.

4. Do not wear tin on your body.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.