Hattalsom is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, conceited otter.

Hattalsom created the world three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hattalsom, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hattalsom, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Hattalsom's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Hattalsom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Erect five tin sculptures of Hattalsom on top of important buildings.

3. Do not take Hattalsom's name in vain.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

5. You must love Hattalsom.