Legfedtik Quartsasjad is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, vain walrus.

Legfedtik Quartsasjad created a down quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Legfedtik Quartsasjad, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Legfedtik Quartsasjad, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Legfedtik Quartsasjad's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Legfedtik Quartsasjad's Holy Commandments

1. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Legfedtik Quartsasjad must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not covet oxen.