Nillcibmumzig Pidtamzod is a god.

He takes the form of a small, selfish giraffe.

Nillcibmumzig Pidtamzod created an up quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Nillcibmumzig Pidtamzod, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nillcibmumzig Pidtamzod, he will turn you into a worm.

Nillcibmumzig Pidtamzod's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Nillcibmumzig Pidtamzod's Holy Commandments

1. Always help gulls in need.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Run away from red moths, for they are unholy.

4. Nillcibmumzig Pidtamzod must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Run away if six birds approach from the south.