Pinbastsas is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, emotional cow.

Pinbastsas created viruses two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pinbastsas, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Pinbastsas, he will turn you into a rat.

Pinbastsas' most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Pinbastsas' Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not take Pinbastsas' name in vain.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.