Ontbap is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, bad-tempered skunk.

Ontbap created bats twelve years ago.

If you believe in Ontbap, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Ontbap, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Ontbap's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Ontbap's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six eagles approach from the east.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never hurt nematodes.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.