Kimwabomin is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, vain toad.

Kimwabomin created Mount Everest three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kimwabomin, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kimwabomin, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Kimwabomin's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Kimwabomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Never talk about snakes.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

5. Do not eat onions.