Mutfebdad Jendissjad is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, slow jaguar.

Mutfebdad Jendissjad created carbon two years ago.

If you believe in Mutfebdad Jendissjad, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Mutfebdad Jendissjad, he will turn you into a worm.

Mutfebdad Jendissjad's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Mutfebdad Jendissjad's Holy Commandments

1. Mutfebdad Jendissjad loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Mutfebdad Jendissjad on top of all buildings.

3. Do not wear platinum on your body.

4. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.